#i have MANY thoughts about nicos characters purpose but i’ll keep them to myself for now

[losersolace]

hopefully this post doesn’t age terribly LMAOOO but i genuinely think solangelo is NOT a bury your gays story. first of all, i think the purpose of nico’s whole character is gay people having a happy ending despite everything that happened to them. i do think they may be a patrochilles parallel, but maybe them in another universe where they get their happy ending. also nico is the son of hades, if either of them died i still don’t think it would be the end.

the REAL tragic patrochilles parallel in pjo are clarisse and silena, even though they were never explicitly romantic interests in the book— i think it’s how historians see patroclus and achilles. they all agree they loved each other but many say it was not romantic depending on who you ask. also both silena and clarisse have other opposite-gender love interests and i dont think rick wanted to depict cheating (even the fling silena had with luke is described to be from before she and beckendorf were together) (achilles had a wife as well btw but it was. the ancient times. they had other standards and weren’t 15 year olds in a war)

woah woah woah. ok listen.

solangelo from pjo and patrochilles from tsoa (or the illad) right? they're often put together. the ships are quite similar. ifykwim

but patroclus *dies*. he *fucking dies.* and so does achilles.

is this meant to foreshadow something. is it. because i cant, and wont be able to handle SHIT.

[gatesofember]

1/3 Hi! I just wanted to send a message about the AM au. I LOVE reading it, and a friend and I bond over it, and we just wanted to tell you that we read the au because of your writing, and how beautifully you handle the balance of “but this is historically more accurate” and “but this makes for a better story”. And we’ve both been seeing how much you seem to feel pressured to include an explicit consummation scene in the story, while you don’t seem to feel like it fits, and for what it’s worth,

First of all, I’m sorry it took me like a week to get around to answering this. I am now a foster mother caring for an teeny tiny perfect adorable kitten who needs attention at all hours of the day.

I am so flattered that you and a friend have bonded over my fic and I love to hear how much you appreciate all the work I’ve put into it! I definitely try to find a balance for the au - both between historical accuracy and good story and between what I want and what the readers want.

Early in my fic-writing career, I promised myself that I’d never take requests or commissions. Commissioned and requested fics of my favorite writers had always fallen short for me and I suspected that was because the writer wasn’t enjoying themselves. My worst fics are the ones I don’t have fun with and my worst scenes are the ones I want to skip. It took me a while to come to this conclusion, but the way I see it, if I don’t want to write it, no one will want to read it. Whenever I get to a scene that’s dull or tedious to write, I know I’m doing something wrong. I ask myself, “How can I reframe this scene? What might make it more interesting? Is it necessary? Should it be replaced?” Thinking like that has rescued so much of my writing. I dropped many scenes from “The Whitethorn Hearth” because they didn’t fit and rearranged a lot of the events to improve the flow. I over-wrote chapter 3 and I struggled to pull the chapter together because it was such tedious work. When I caught myself thinking, “I just want to get this chapter over with,” I finally stopped and said, “What is going on right now that’s preventing me from enjoying myself and how can I fix it?” So I took a step back, figured out what was wrong, and ended up really happy with the chapter.

When I started this au, I promised myself that I wouldn’t let audience reactions change my vision for the story. I’ve done my best to stay true to that, but I’ve definitely been influenced. I wanted to write a historically-inspired drama about two people in an arranged marriage, but story veered toward romance because I felt like that was what readers wanted. Mostly, the betrothal part of the au became longer and more detailed than expected. And that wasn’t always a bad thing! I mentioned some of my regrets about the engagement in the guide, but I prefer some of the changes. Originally, Nico and Will didn’t actually say the “L” word until after the wedding, but I’m much more pleased with “The Whitethorn Hearth” than the initial wedding plan. But on the downside, the late changes meant I was unprepared. Because I didn’t take the time to reframe the story, many of those changes were poorly executed.

What I regret most is how much Will’s character fell flat. I only intended to write a few fics about the betrothal, enough to establish Will as a pure-hearted boy who’s always been surrounded and protected by good friends, a loving family, and his connections to powerful people. He starts out innocent and underdeveloped in contrast to Nico, who carries a lot of baggage from his past. AM au Will was also supposed to contrast with canon Will, who I interpret as hardened by the loss of two brothers and fighting in two wars. AM au Will’s character was supposed to develop while he struggled to live far away from his family, to find his place in a new home, and to figure out his relationship with his husband. Unfortunately, because of the extended betrothal phase, I was stuck on the innocent, underdeveloped Will for a long time. I should have reframed the story to figure out how to make him interesting and dynamic in the early story when I realized I’d spend so much time writing the betrothal phase. But at least now that the wedding is over, I can save Will’s boring character and we’ll watch him grow into the war-hardened yet still calm and kind Will Solace we know from canon.

As far as explicit sex is concerned, the reason I started writing smut was because I felt like there was a tragic lack of good, non-underage content in the Solangelo tag. I thought, “hey, I’m a decent writer, maybe I can do something about that.” Then people liked it and they wanted more. But…smut is kind of boring to write, honestly. There’s a formula to it: describe the action, describe the sensation. Maybe add a bit of fun dialogue, possibly some romance, but once you’ve written a few smut fics, you’ve written them all. Sure, you can try different positions, different types of play, or different anatomies, but at the end of the day, it’s still just describing physical arousal. A lot of the time, if you change the setting, the universe, or even the characters, you can still copy and paste the actions and sensations. Smut doesn’t have much room for creativity. I always tried to make mine different; I did my best to frame it to be unique to the setting and I used a lot of dialogue to showcase the characters’ personalities and relationship. Even then, it got boring after I’d written a few, and although I said no whenever someone made a request, I still felt like I had to keep writing smut even though I wasn’t having fun.

Thankfully, I’ve gotten a lot better about staying true to myself since my smut-writing days. If I have a hard time writing the consummation fic, I plan to stop and ask myself why, then find a way to fix it. I don’t think it will be very pornographic. The purpose of the consummation fic isn’t to elicit the reader’s sexual arousal; the purpose is to tell a story of the developing relationship between two characters, specifically them figuring out their sexualities and physical compatibility. It’s also meant to have a slight commentary on how heteronormativity has influenced same-sex sexual practices in the au, with hints of existentialist questions like “What defines sex? What is its function as a non-reproductive practice, personally, interpersonally, and societally? Where does the definition of sex begin and end, and what actions count as sex? Is there an objective definition, or is it entirely subjective? And if it is entirely subjective, can we say that sex exists at all?”

But mostly it’s full of absurdist comedy with a dash of dirty humor, plus some romance.

So no, I don’t want to write smut. But I do want to write the story of Nico and Will hilariously making complete idiots of themselves while trying to figure out anal. If I focus on the aspects of the story that I want to write, then I’ll have fun doing it.

Thank you for your support and for reminding me not to let myself be influenced by expectations. I think most readers will be ok with my choices. I occasionally get comments that are rude, demanding, or entitled, but the majority of my feedback is wonderful and supportive! And if readers are dissatisfied by the level of explicitness, they can fuck right off and find a different fic to read. I’ve already contributed enough smut to the Solangelo tag. It’s my au and I’m going to do what I want!

[reviewae]

H2W Reactions (SPOILER ALERT)

Disclaimer: any excerpts taken and posted here do not belong to me, only the reactions do. the excerpts belong to the great great olivieblake.

Oh my god, so we’re starting with Dramione?! Yayayayayayayayayay!!!!!!(does a little tap-dance with sombrero dangling off of head.)

(Just so you know guys, I have already read this chapter roughly five times(I couldn’t control myself!) and all my reactions are not actual live reations, but roll with it.)

A whiff of something familiar that tickled his nose to consciousness; a faint hint of gardenias.Oh my god oh my god I know what that is..its Hermione’s perfume,right, from Clean and Marked!?

Hermione's perfume. See? I told ya.

"I wouldn't keep her very far," he commented, and Draco frowned, recognizing neither the man nor the intent behind his reference. Cause you’re not really into her yet, son. It takes time. But look what we got here: another Dramione shipper! Welcome to the fam son, your name?

"You're a motherfucking swine," Daisy snapped,  Yeah, tell him, girl!

"My father," Daisy interrupted, "has nothing to do with this." You poor, innocent child. *pats hair gently*

"Okay, listen up you little shitbag, I - mphhmhihm-" Ewww. Is it just me or does it look-sound like he’s kissed her. He’s most likely gagged her though.

Draco had once hoped himself that she would stop talking, he determined that a disconcerting form of wish-fulfillment. The snark levels of this guy, like honestly. He’s probably going to die but *gestures hands wildly* 

Draco caught the outline of a tattoo at the base of his throat, tucking the observation in the back of his mind for later. Okay, another guy from the mysterious infinity club. I’m going to save this info for later too.

Demonstration of what excessive snark levels make you:  "Sounds like breaking and entering," Draco commented in reply. "Though, considering you already have kidnapping checked off the list, I suppose that's nothing remarkable, is it?"

Draco Malfoy. They make you Draco Malfoy.

"I have surveillance charms set up in my office," she said tightly, not quite looking at Hermione. "I know you and Malfoy took my files, but I figured once you saw I wasn't covering anything up you'd simply return them. I thought it would be better to let you think you had me fooled," she exhaled, sighing out the irony, "so you'd figure out on your own that you could trust me." You little shit, Carnegie. You’re also kinda like Harry y’know. Just more, slytherin-ish.

Draco, again, felt a twinge of guilt at having once made the same assertion. I love how they keep coming back to this non-consequential piece of information.  

"You know," Draco ventured tangentially, "I have a tattoo myself." Yours is one heck of a tattoo son. Really..um, sophisticated. Also, I see what you’re doing there.

"I find that mine is rather telling," he offered wryly.No shit Sherlock.

"I'll tell you precisely who I am. I'm Nicholas Flamel, though I prefer to go by N-" What the fuck? That old shit’s dead. He was connected to that shiny red ruby then he died or something. Or was going to.

"You can't be Nicholas Flamel. He's - he's old," she protested, "and the Philosopher's Stone was destroyed, so - "   Same, sis, same.

and as I was saying, I prefer Nico. So You’re Nico!? Nice to meet you! Sorry to say this, but you’re kinda an asshole.

Nico's expression stiffened. That was a risky gamble. Let’s hope it works for your sake.

"Lady Revel," he repeated, his tongue darting angrily between his lips as if to rid himself of the taste. "I'll have to have a talk with Ignotus," Damn, she is already gone, man; nothing you do can ruin her further. and I kinda like her(totally cause she wants to mutilate umbridge) he murmured to himself, and behind Draco, he felt Hermione stiffen. Why did hermione stiffen? What does she know? Something’s up.

Draco elbowed her as sharply as possible, smacking the back of his head against hers for emphasis. When I said ‘physical affection’ I certainly did not mean this. Gentle with the goods, man.

"The attention," she croaked. "We theorized it was being done for attention. The reason for low-ranking officials is obviously access - they're easier to get to, first of all, and they don't have years of threats teaching them to watch their backs and safeguard their security, and - "

"Yes, yes," Nico said, flicking his wand again to silence her. "Attention, fine," he permitted, "but whose? That's no less opaque."

"But why on earth would anyone blame an organization whose entire purpose is predicated on secrecy?" Hermione pressed. "If these poisonings aren't being orchestrated by the Club, then who could be - " Wait, What the fuck? Two of them are tied up and the third is holding them hostage and they’re just talking to each other like they’re just solving any other case or something?

"Are you nearly done?" Emmett demanded. "Emilia's going mad, I can't hold her off for much longer, and if she calls in Daisy's Aurors - " Okay, first of all, Fuck you Emmett, you heartless bastard. Second of all, thank god, emilia is not involved in this. that would have been just too much heartbreak for poor Daisy.

"Really," he added, shaking his head with what appeared to be wildly misplaced mirth, "what parent would?" Wait. What’s happening? Why’d he say that? is he going to kill him? oh my gosh he’s gonna kill him isn’t he?

"What murder?" Emmett asked, and Draco groaned.

"Worst last words ever,"Seriously Draco, I honestly don’t know what to do with you. he muttered as Daisy screamed, and behind him, Draco felt Hermione gasp, both of them watching Emmett Carnegie fall stiffly to the floor in the span of a breath. Eeek. Didnt see THAT coming. or maybe i did. either way, good riddance?

"I have a chocolate frog card of you, you bastard!" HAHAHAHAHA!! Of all the things she could have said, she says that?!!

"That's a man I paid to continue to be me as I focused my attention on other pursuits. “ Stunt double. Seems like even the best can’t hold their own.

"Hermione," Draco interrupted, clearing a rasp from his voice. "I have to tell you something. Before we die, I need you to know something," he pressed urgently, and turned as far as he was able, catching the sharp turn of her head. "I need you to know I'm - I'm so sorry," he exhaled. "Everything I said to you, everything I did, I need you to know how sorry I am, and - " Omg, is it happening? is he telling her he loves her? but he’s accepting his death so quickly? that’s not possible. that’s not the Draco I know. He’s upto something isn’t he? He’s buying time. ahuhhh...

^^^Actual footage of Draco Malfoy. Sorry, Back to the story!

Draco was certain the compulsion to imagine his final words must have occurred at least once to Nicholas Flamel, a man who'd outlived his friends and family for centuries.

After all, even a man fixated on immortality must suffer mortal pitfalls.

"Surely you've thought about the things you would have done," Draco pressed. "Haven't you? The things you'd want to say, and how you'd want to say them." He paused, parsing his words carefully. "You can't tell me it's never crossed your mind." This little shit. He knows exactly what he’s doing and I love him!!!

"Draco," Hermione said quietly, leaning her head back against his. "It's okay, I understand - " Hermione, child,I love you and all but please, shut up. 

"In the lining of my pocket," he whispered to her. "Any vial will - " Please tell me there’s a bomb in there.

Draco nodded hurriedly, gripping Hermione's waist as her fingers rose to place themselves against his chest, smoothing out against the fabric of his shirt.  Yaaaaaasss pull her closer boy! Get some babay!!!

"I'm sorry," he told her. "I hurt you, I insulted you, I misjudged you, and I'm fucking sorry for it. Before anything happens to either of us, I need to know you forgive me for everything I've done."  Is he being genuine? Please be genuinely sorry. Please.

"I just need you to know that I love you, Hermione," Draco pronounced firmly, and yanked her in close, kissing her as deeply and ferociously as he could manage.

He deepened the kiss, gripping the back of her head with one hand as he covertly grasped her fingers with the other, and took the vial from her with careful, breathless precision.And then - because nothing in life was ever certain, he reasoned, and if he were going to die, he'd prefer it be in the aftermath of something enjoyable - he kissed her a few moments longer. He slid his tongue along the bottom swell of her lip and she shivered, drawing him closer. Her hands dropped to his hips, her fingers digging into the lip of his trousers, and  Oh my god, do i feel hot? is it hot in here? no only hot in there. oooff , when i said get some, you really took it to heart didn’t you?

"Ehem," Nico said, making a face. "I think you've said it."  Nico be like, “Meh. Straight, mortal people.”

Draco pulled away, dazed I totally understand boo.

"I'd rather not live to see Draco die, if that's alright with you." Gives me such Ride or Die deja vu feels.

There was a loud series of gasps, a shattering of glass, and then Draco looked up slowly, realizing that the many eyes of the party's guest had fallen on them; specifically, on the dead man clutched by his traumatized daughter, and then on Hermione and Draco, who clung to each other, breathing hard. Ooops?

Okay quick note, I’m skipping the rhys part cause unpopular opinion, I don’t like him. I mean, he’s decent and all but, Paws off Draco’s Hermione!! So yeah, y’know. Also he’s a side character, not veeerryy interested in him.Also, who’s gonna read that when you have dramione coming up? Yes, more DRAMIONE!!!YAAASSS!!! I’ll probably do this reaction later, in a small side note or something.

She reached out, catching his arm. Are they going to fuck?Please do!!!

"Malfoy," she began, and exhaled, uncertain how to proceed. "What you said back there, in Daisy's office - "

"It was a distraction," Draco supplied curtly. "Nothing to acknowledge. Shockingly," he drawled, kicking at the upturned corner of the rug, "I'm not actually in love with you." Sheeshh. Harsh.

"No, I meant about - " she faltered. "You said you were sorry." She’s not letting go that easy, isn’t she? God bless her.

"Of course I'm sorry," he said. "You know that." Awwww, he acknowledges it.Okay,that’s it, i am officially in love with this Draco.

"Until what?" he asked, stepping towards her. "Until it was almost too late? Until we were both about to die?" He paused again, staring at her. "Until I was holding you in my arms?" Woooh, from a zero to a hundred just like that. Man, he’s hot when he’s scary, and frank.

and he looked as though he might step closer, but then abruptly decided against it.  Nononononononnonono. Its just one little step. Just one little step, do it man.

She took the step he didn't. THANKYOU!!!!!

She reached out, brushing a strand of silvery-blond hair from his eyes, and swallowed hard. *chanting* KISS KISS KISS KISS!!!!

Behind them, the Floo suddenly burst into flames, Harry's head appearing in the fireplace. OKAY WHAT THE FUCK! HARRY? YOU FUCKING BASTARD!! YOU COULD’VE JUST WAITED 10 SECONDS COULDN’T YOU? YOU JUST HAD TO COCKBLOCK RIGHT NOW!? YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKER!! GET LOST!!! 

OKAY I AM NOT EVEN READING THE REST CAUSE I AM TOO ANGRY TO(And also cause the scroll sigh is almost at the end.). HARRY POTTER YOU COME IN FRONT OF ME NEXT TIME AND I’LL FUCKING RIP YOU TO SHREDS!!!

Roughly an hour later, That was not a cliffhanger, but it was also fucking worse!!! Now have to wait for like 3-4 more chapters of angsty eye-fucking and rhys-hermione before i get a glimpse  of pure unadulterated and uninterrupted Dramione (yes, I’m side-eyeing Harry.)  Well, that’s all for this chapter, make sure to reblog and follow.I make new reactions every sunday.(Though this came a little late ‘cause i had exams.) Also shoutout to @coyunnnnn for reblogging. Thanks for reading!!! 1402wisegirl, over and out.